How I Decided to Write My Detrans Memoir
Writing Struggles and and Reflections From April 2024
I can’t control many of the things stressing me out, so what can I do to create meaning in my life right now?
When I was a child I wrote books of poetry, short stories, and even full-length novels of fiction. I kept blogs, journals, and doodled via writing in my notes app or the margins of worksheets in class. I was always going to be a writer—I already was—as long as I’d known myself.
History of Detrans Writing
I began writing about detransition in 2021 after prompted by Stella O’Malley, creating this Substack and publishing essays sporadically on other independent media platforms. Since then, I have known I would publish a memoir, but not sure when would be the “right” time. There is never a good time to be a trauma victim.
The public have seen my transformation in healing and maturation via my writing on Twitter and Substack over my three years of detransition advocacy and gut-spilling venting posts. When I turned 25 I recognized my higher brain functions improving, and by 26 anxiously but willingly accepted Adulthood, not just an “emerging” adult.
My Duty
Adulthood meant duty to others, my community, and meeting my own needs. By mid 2023 and into my “late twenties I knew my needs were several:
Move out of Wisconsin to an appropriate climate and social location.
Take on more responsibility as a leader in the movement fighting wokeness.
Write and publish my memoir on detransition, transition, and healing.
Writing a memoir was my destiny but also my duty—who else would have the strength, passion, and time to be the canary in the coalmine and lay bare their life’s shame? Detransitioners online are fragile, fragmented, and fickle, whereas I am increasing resilience and joining the “professional” crowd in real world efforts.
Starting the Process
In September 2023 I decided I would move to the southwest when it was feasible, and write my memoir starting then. With the help of my friend Candace Mercer who agreed to be my editor, I began collecting every scrap of writing I’d completed from the past 3 year years.
Subsack essays, Twitter threads, unpublished draft articles and even Youtube videos and podcasts transcribed into unformatted text became my starting point. I slotted material into tentative chapters—anything relevant becoming my grounding in the story’s proceedings. I had around 40,000 disconnected words to start with—a serious advantage! Thank you, fragile, fragmented, fickle past Laura.
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